Dear lady who’s bottle-feeding her newborn in Starbucks right now,

Yeah, I saw that. That group of women in the chairs who just gave you a disapproving look when you whipped out the bottle. Now mayyybe they just don’t approve of the donut you’re eating. Or maybe they don’t like your outfit. But I’m pretty sure they were looking down on you because you aren’t breastfeeding. And I’m really hoping you didn’t notice. But just in case you did, I wanted to make sure you know that there is at least ONE mother in here who is not judging you for bottle-feeding. Because this is what I know:

1. Breastfeeding doesn’t always work out for everyone. Sometimes our bodies suck and don’t cooperate. Like my baby didn’t come out of my vajayjay. Was it my fault? No. And maybe your boobies just weren’t in the mood to be vending machines.

2. How about this? It’s entirely possible you adopted that adorable little baby and your udders aren’t full of milk. Duh.

3. Maybe you are getting ready to go back to work and you need your little guy to be okay with bottle-feeding so he doesn’t refuse it all the time and starve to death while you’re earning money to take care of him.

4. Maybe your newbie is like mine was, and keeps losing weight no matter how much you breastfeed him, and the doctor says the best thing you can do for his health is supplement the breastfeeding with formula. And I don’t know about you, but if I was giving my baby the breast sometimes and the bottle other times, call me crazy, but I’d probably choose the bottle when I’m sitting in the middle of Starbucks.

5. Maybe there’s a different reason you’ve decided not to breastfeed. And maybe it’s a really good reason that I don’t know about. And maybe it’s none of my F’ing business because it’s not my kid.

6. Maybe having a baby and waking up all hours of the night and changing diapers twelve times a day and dealing with postpartum depression AND trying to breastfeed at the same time was too much for you and you were constantly a crying mess. So maybe you are actually a BETTER mom for choosing not to breastfeed.

Anyways, I can tell by the way you’re looking into your little guy’s eyes and talking to him that you are utterly madly completely in love with him and that you would do anything for him, so I’m pretty damn sure you’ve made the best choice for both of you. That’s all I gotta really say. Welcome to the Mommy wars where some people give dirty looks and some people give silent support from across the coffee shop.


Another mom who’s judging you and thinks you’re awesome!

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